Categories
Coping Cards

For Every One Pimple I Pick, Three Will Grow in its Place

Illustration of BFRB Coping Card saying: For every one pimple I pick, three will grow back in its place

I don’t know yet whether to fear this statement or hope that it is true.

This coping card is one of my biggest motivations not to pick my pimples. Especially when I have those nasty cystic ones sitting underneath the skin, practically begging me to be squeezed.

Thanks to my BFRB, I’ve never experienced a full pimple life cycle. So I’m on a mission to resist picking long enough to find out what happens to these monsters. And most of all, I want to find out whether this coping statement is true or not.

I now avoid mirrors even more and (try) not to touch my face. The calendar challenge also helps me stay on top of things – one day at a time. 

Unfortunately, getting rid of those suckers just feels so damn good. I have to admit that I do love popping pimples to the extent that I sometimes watch YouTube videos where they just do that. Is anyone familiar with Dr. Pimple Popper? 😉

So yeah, I need all of the good reasons why I should leave pimples alone. Perhaps these additional reminders will help me resist:

  1. More pimples could indeed grow back. Bacteria from cracked pimples could spread to the surrounding pores, which could lead to more pimples. 
  2. The popping of a zit can delay the natural healing process.
  3. The bacteria could penetrate even further into the skin by squeezing a pimple, creating an even bigger zit. 
  4. And of course, there is a high risk of permanent scarring from deeper cystic pimples. I know that …

Armed with these facts, I hope to calm my pimple picking urges and lengthen my squeeze-free periods a little each time.

Categories
BFRB Tips

Sensory DIY Fidget Ring to Keep Your Fingers Busy

Illustration of a hand playing with a DIY fidget ring

Ever since I’ve been on my BFRB healing journey, I’m always looking for something to help me with my urges. When I discovered this simple fidget ring trick, I couldn’t wait to share it with you. 🙂

I recently bought something that had this little metal chain for merchandising tags attached to it. I was immediately fascinated by the texture of the small metal balls.

To turn this little chain into a fidget ring, I removed a few links so the chain would wrap nicely around my fingers. I was super happy when I discovered that my restless fingers responded very well to this sensory substitute.

My fingers are always busy moving over each other or my face, looking/feeling for something bumpy or rough. Then I pick hangnails and scratch blemishes until they bleed. 

This impulsive habit often occurs out of my consciousness when doing desk work or simply reading a book in a comfortable position. My fingers are the most affected as I have had this behavior since I was eight years old.

Now I keep this little chain, also known as a fidget ring, near my keyboard. It might not be the most fashionable accessory, but it does its job and is super accessible, and doesn’t cost anything. 

So don’t throw these little chains away the next time you come across them. Transform them into super cheap fidget rings. Maybe you like the feeling of the metal balls as much as I do!

Categories
BFRB Tips

Dim the Lights to Not See Blemishes

Illustration of bathroom lights. Three of four lights are turned of.

Probably the most common BFRB crime scene is the bathroom with brightly lit mirrors.

I tend to scrutinize my face closely under the bright light for hours. I see things that other people wouldn’t even notice.  

A simple trick to reduce visual triggers is to dim the lights. I unscrewed three out of four lightbulbs in my bathroom. I still see enough for my bathroom activities as most don’t even require bright lights. 

If dimming the lights in your bathroom isn’t an option, maybe consider getting a night lamp. Some of them have dimmers or even different color options. 

I still remember going to that one bar as a teenager where the bathroom lights were red and dimmed. My skin there never looked more flawless. All I can say is that my confidence was quite high after these bathroom visits 😉

Alternatively, you may be able to remove the mirror entirely. And while we’re at it, be sure to remove any magnifying mirrors for your own good.

This is just an example of a night lamp I once bought on Amazon. The company is called VAVA.

Categories
Coping Cards

Lost But Not Losing

Illustration of a BFRB coping card saying: lost but not losing

This coping card has two meanings for me: I sometimes feel lost, especially after having lost another fight to my BFRBs. But I have to remind myself that I’m not losing the battle. 

I only recently felt almost arrogant because I thought I had overcome my BFRBs. I felt like I had all of the tricks I need to control my urges. For almost a week, I managed not to pick my skin or chew my cheeks and lips. Even my fingers never looked healthier.

Then, after this long healthy period, I had a major setback. I don’t even know why it happened … I even tell myself that I had no (obvious) reason to relapse. 

And exactly that is the tricky and irrational part of BFRB – you don’t always need a reason to pick, scratch, bite or pull. 

These self-harming and very often self-soothing behaviors have been well practiced for years. It is not that easy to control this subconscious urge. Unfortunately, there is no simple solution to overcoming our BFRBs. We have to go the bumpy road. 

When I started my BFRB healing journey, I knew setbacks would happen. Oh boy, and they happen … But I didn’t think they come with so many tears, self-doubt, and even self-loathing. 

After every setback, I feel like I’m starting from scratch. But that’s not the case because with every setback, I learn something new about myself. And with every new day, there is an opportunity to kick BFRB in the butt with a new trick 😉

Above all, it is crucial to recognize your own progress and celebrate small successes.

So when I reflect on my recent setback, I feel very proud that I left my face alone – this is a huge win! I only picked a few blemishes on my arms and legs. I just nibbled the inside of my mouth instead of biting it until bleeding. Sure, my fingers could look better, but I only bit off two fingernails instead of ten.

Yeah, I’ll lose a few fights, but I’m not going to lose the battle. Let’s get motivated by the small victories and small steps we take. Setting the bar too high will only result in disappointment.

Longstanding behavior patterns will take time and effort to change. Let’s be a little more compassionate and patient with ourselves. We deserve that.

Categories
BFRB Tips

Use Cuticle Oil to Moisturize and Heal Your Nail Bed

Illustration of applying cuticle oil to fingers

I don’t know how I could have lived without cuticle oil for so long! For most of my fellow BFRB copers, using cuticle oil is probably a no-brainer. But I indeed have never used it in those over 20 years of picking my fingers.

My restless fingers are constantly looking for or creating hangnails. Thanks to various coping techniques (finger taping, finger protectors, fidget ring, therapy, …) I have my finger picking pretty well under control. 

The new problem, however, is that the new skin feels more rigid, which makes picking even more appealing and harder to control.

So I’m trying to counter that by using A LOT of cuticle oil and lotion. The oil moisturizes and smoothes the skin, so I don’t see any hangnails or imperfections. The smell of the oil also reminds me not to bite my nails when I get my hand near my mouth.

Over time, I’ve developed a healthy habit that creates awareness not to pick. As soon as I’m at my work desk, I apply cuticle oil to the nail beds. 

This has an effect on me, similar to putting shoes on a dog. I spread my fingers apart to make sure they aren’t touching and not greasing the keyboard. For a while, at least, my fingers don’t wander around picking each other. 

In summary, the cuticle oil not only softens and heals your skin, it also creates a slight barrier against picking your hangnails.

Tip: When I need heavier BFRB work gear or the extra healing boost, I apply cuticle oil before taping my fingers or putting on the finger protectors. This is how I protect my fingers and moisten them at the same time.