Skin picking, also known as excoriation disorder or dermatillomania, is characterized by repetitive picking, touching, rubbing, and scratching one’s skin. The attempt is to improve perceived imperfections, often resulting in tissue damage, discoloration, or scarring. Research indicates that 2–5% of the population picks their skin to the extent that it causes noticeable tissue damage. 75% of those affected are women.
I first learned about Adi Mudra in the book “Heal Your BFRB.” (great book, by the way!) Let me tell you all about it and why it helps to cope with BFRBs.
Adi Mudra is a hand gesture that is often used in spiritual yoga and meditation. It means “first gesture” (Adi = primal, Mudra = gesture) because it is the first position a baby can make with their hands.
Fold your thumb and gently hold it with your remaining fingers. That’s it. Easy right!
Adi Mudra calms your nervous system, helps raise awareness, and increases breathing and lung capacity.
For this reason, it can be a good idea to keep your hands like this while doing your breathing exercises to help manage anxiety and stress.
I use Adi Mudra a lot to control my restless fingers. It became my go-to action when I catch my fingers wandering around feeling every so little bump or cuticle.
This hand gesture breaks my urge and protects my fingers from picking, biting, or pulling while I can refocus on my mission of not engaging in my BFRBs.
I love this little BFRB trick, especially in social situations. You can use it casually without anyone noticing. Somehow, holding my thumb(s) with the rest of my fingers soothes me and makes me feel safe and in control.
Try it out, and let me know what you think of this BFRB tip!
The BFRB thumb guard was the first fidget tool I bought to better cope with skin picking – especially at my fingers. The thumb guard is also a good helper for trichotillomania.
I noticed that when I’m not using my hands, my fingers are busy wandering around creating new skin to pick. Before I even know it, I tore off a cuticle or did more damage by “fixing” the tiniest bumps on my arms.
The thumbs are the main troublemakers. They can touch each finger, the middle finger and pointer tend to dig into the thumb, and we all know how bad the index finger+thumb combination can be for blemishes and hair.
Feeling leads to picking, pulling and biting.
So, it seemed like a good solution to put my main problem finger out of action by wearing a BFRB thumb guard. And it is was! I got mine from ThumbSnuggler.
What I love about the ThumbSnuggler BFRB thumb guard:
I love that it’s handmade and that glass beads are knitted into the thumb guard. I knew my nervous fingers would respond very well to the beads.
The thumb guard can be put on very quickly, creating an immediate barrier
My thumb is unable to act, so I can’t feel any hangnails or rough edges. And I can’t use my thumb and index finger to pick blemishes
The beats are great sensory fidgets that keep my fingers busy
I keep the BFRB thumb guard in my living room-BFRB toolkit and use it mainly when watching TV, reading, or drawing. Working on the keyboard probably works great too.
Do you track your BFRB habits? Tracking them is key for getting them under control and, hopefully, even curing your dermatillomania, trichotillomania, nail or cheek biting over time.
How many times have you picked, pulled, or scratched without even realizing it? How many times have you yelled at yourself to stop but couldn’t?
I think we all have been there. We pick our skin or pull our hair because this is our coping mechanism for trauma, stressful times, anxiety-induced situations, procrastination, or boredom.
BFRBs are ingrained habits that often happen automatically. The most important thing is to cultivate awareness of the patterns and disrupt them before responding to the triggers. Because, as you maybe know, once you give in to the urge, the downward spiral is pretty much unavoidable.
How to track your BFRB habits
By tracking your BFRB habits, you will become aware of when, where, and even why you pick your skin, bite your nails or pull your hair. You will better understand your triggers and feelings that call for relief through your BFRBs.
So every time you’ve had a relapse, make a note of the following:
Date & Time
Place: e.g., bathroom, car, work desk, doctors waiting room
Situation: e.g., while grooming, in a meeting, in front of the mirror, studying, working, driving, reading, watching TV, …
Thoughts & Feelings: What did you think and feel while you “zoned out.” What was the sensation you got from picking or pulling?
By tracking my body-focused repetitive behaviors, I was able to eliminate some “lighter triggers,” such as when watching TV, reading, or talking on the phone.
Seeing the positives of BFRB relapses by tracking them
I know, I know. How on earth can BFRB relapses be positive, right? I used to feel so angry, defeated, and hopeless after an episode of picking or biting. Sometimes I still am when I see the damage I’ve done.
However, ever since I’m tracking my BFRB habits, I see setbacks as an opportunity to optimize my coping strategy.
Also, the more I am aware of my body-focused repetitive behaviors, the more I become aware of the triggers. And knowing the triggers is quite empowering because I learn a lot about myself.
It might sound weird, but I feel like my nervous system is talking to me through my BFRBs? As if the scars, fresh wounds, or flaky fingers were to alert me to take better care of myself and my mental health. But that’s the topic for another post 💛
Give it a try and track your BFRB habits. I hope it gives you some insights!
This is a screenshot of the SkinPick App that I use to track my BFRB habits.
Some of my favorite skin picking barriers are wearing finger protectors or taping the fingers. Unfortunately, those interventions sometimes are just not enough of a barrier. At times like these, I wear cotton gloves.
Wearing the gloves is very effective because you just can’t pick your skin, bite your nails or even pull your hair while wearing them. Another advantage is that I don’t see my fingers if they are in a rough shape from picking my fingers.
The cotton glove method works best when reading, watching TV, or even working at the computer – yes, typing on the keyboard works surprisingly well too! Most of the time I only wear one glove. That way, I have a free hand without restrictions to use the computer mouse … or to snack 😉
The cotton gloves should fit snugly around your hand, otherwise they may distract or get in the way. To make the gloves tighter, I tie a knot at the bottom. See the picture below.
You can get cotton gloves in different sizes at a conventional drug store for pretty cheap.
If you buy cotton gloves, but they are unusable for your BFRBs, you can always use them to moisten your hands. Just apply a lotion or hand repair cream and wear the gloves for a few hours or overnight. Check out these tips for super soft hands.
Or do both – healing your BFRB ridden skin while creating a barrier for skin picking, nail-biting, and hair-pulling!
Make the cotton gloves tighter by tying a knot at the bottom.
This coping card is a friendly reminder to be more compassionate with yourself. To give you the same love that you give to other people.
I used to have very strong negative self-talk, especially after picking episodes. I was mad at myself for not having enough willpower to stop picking. Furthermore, I told myself that it was my fault that my skin is so damaged and that I was weak for not having my anxiety under control.
Sometimes I even purposely picked and scratched my skin in revenge for my ineptitude. According to the motto: since one arm is fu*%ed up, let’s continue with the other one and, on and on.
The thing is, I would never speak like this to a friend who has a similar problem. Why don’t I show myself more love?
Stop the negative self-talk by looking for the positive
Harmful self-talk fuels negative emotions and thus the intensity of the picking. To break out of the toxic state of mind, I listen inward and try to find out where my thoughts and feelings are coming from. Doing that gives me a better understanding of myself and my BFRBs.
I ask myself if my thoughts are valid, or is my mind convincing me of something that isn’t really true? Then, I actively refute and replace negative thinking with more rational and balanced thoughts.
For example, despite having setbacks, I tell myself to be proud of the progress I’ve made. Or instead of feeling shameful for my skin, I want to be grateful for it. I know it’s hard to love the skin with all the blemishes, scabs, and scars. However, it is easier to help and support the skin to heal when you are optimistic about it.
I invite you to examine your thoughts and become aware of your anxiety and stress factors. Try to find ways to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones and have some quality “Me Time”: go for a walk, take some mindful breaks, exercise, take a nap or celebrate your skincare routine. Yes, you deserve it!
To sum it up, reducing stress and anxiety is key to getting the picking under control. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip. On the contrary, be more compassionate with yourself because that will help you better fight your BFRB.
With each setback, you gain more knowledge, which in turn is an opportunity to move forward and heal. Don’t give up and keep trying – perseverance will lead you to your goal!
