Category: BFRB Tips

Categories
BFRB Tips

The Role of Emotions in BFRBs

Illustration of a candle with a label saying: All the feels

Emotions are communicators and play a big role in Body-focused Repetitive Behaviors. Even if we are not always aware of our feelings, they strongly influence our picking, pulling, and biting behavior.

It’s essential to be in tune with our emotions when an urge occurs to help recognize what may have triggered it.

Anxiety, stress, and nervousness are the most common feelings associated with BFRBs.

But our emotions are much more than that. We even engage in our BFRB when we seem to be feeling just fine. Therefore, becoming aware of our feelings and their reasons is crucial for BFRB recovery.

Put emotions into words to better understand your BFRB

I didn’t have the vocabulary to name my feelings. In my family, there are two emotions: “I’m fine” and “not so fine.” It was an interesting experience to dig deeper to answer questions in therapy like “how did that make you feel” or “what are you feeling right now?”.

When we verbalize our feelings, our fears, worries, and pain become less intense. That’s why talking to a friend or therapist can make us feel better about getting the most out of our system.

See your BFRBs as inner alarms telling you to take a break, not take things too seriously, set boundaries, or focus on your mental health to heal and feel better. Jeez, sometimes I think my BFRBs know me better than I do!

all-the-feels-emotion-list

3 Ways to Track Emotions

Tracking our emotions is almost as important as logging the BFRBs themselves. This encourages us to reflect on why we feel a certain way, which can help us find a solution to prevent picking, pulling, or biting.

1.     Log Your Emotions Using a Mood Tracker App

At the beginning of my BFRB healing journey, I used Mood-Log (by Barry Langdon-Lassagne). It is an app where you can choose from many emotions and make notes. I tracked the overall summary of my feelings at the end of the day. This app has helped me name my emotions and look for patterns in how my moods changeover time based on different situations and circumstances.

Emotion tracker app

2.     Simultaneously log your emotions and BFRB

As mentioned above, emotions and BFRBs are closely intertwined. And because logging both is super helpful for my BFRB recovery, I created the BFRB Awareness Journal. Now I have this one place where I can put my emotions into words and analyze the situation that triggered my BFRB.

3.     Journal Speak

Set a timer for 10–20 minutes, and just vent by writing whatever comes to mind. I like to delete what I’ve written after the timer runs out. Shredding the paper or permanently deleting the file makes me feel safer and freer to put my thoughts and feelings into words. I learned this super helpful technique on the podcast The Cure for Chronic Pain.

Fact:

Feelings, thoughts, and urges won’t last forever. They come and go like the clouds in the sky. So try to locate your emotions in your body and stay with them until they go away. I know this can be difficult but becoming aware of and accepting them makes this process more manageable over time.

Do you track your emotions or your BFRBs? Let me know in the comments below!

Sending you much love, 
Anja

Categories
BFRB Tips

Take BFRB Progress Photos

Illustration of two polaroid pictures with "take BFRB Progress Photos" written on them

Taking progress photos of your BFRBs can help you stay on track, reduce negative self-talk or motivate you to achieve goals. 

It never occurred to me to take pictures of my ragged fingers and skin, which I’m ashamed of. If anything, I used to edit the spots. 

But seeing other people’s photos of their BFRB struggles on social media encouraged me to capture my healing journey with its ups and downs.

I photograph the best and worst conditions of my BFRB-prone areas and collect my progress photos in two separate entries in my Notes app.

The BFRB setback jar and BFRB praise jar

The setback images help me as a BFRB coping reminder that I no longer want to be in this condition. When I took these pictures, I was in pain and unhappy with the way my skin looked. I felt defeated, ashamed and weak in these moments. 

On the other hand, every time I took the “success” pictures, I felt proud, confident, and happy. Sometimes I even have to pinch myself (in a non-BFRB way) because I can’t believe that the hands I’m looking at are mine!

Document your BFRB healing journey with progress photos

I find the positive pictures more helpful for my BFRB healing journey. When I experience setbacks, and I’m like, “this is my reality; I’ll never have nice nails anyway,” I’ll look at my BFRB praise jar folder and know I can get my fingers and skin to look like this again. 

Being on a BFRB healing journey can be daunting because setbacks are part of it, and at times it can feel like you’re not making any progress at all. This is where the BFRB progress photos come in handy.

When I look back on my journey, I see that the damage I am currently doing is not as severe as it used to be or that the “good times” are occurring more frequently. It’s important to stop and look back every now and then to see how far you’ve come. Your future self will be grateful that you didn’t give up and kept going.  

How about you? Do you take BFRB progress photos? What helps you better, the positive or the negative ones?

BFRB Praise Jar
BFRB progress photos
Setbacks
Categories
BFRB Tips

The Nail Polish Guide for When You Pick Your Skin

illustration of fingers with different nail polish

Have you ever applied nail polish and been shocked at how the picked skin around your fingernails suddenly looked redder and rougher? If yes, this blog post is for you. If you want to learn how to choose the right color for your skin tone in general, this post is for you too!

Like many of you who struggle with nail-biting, I use colored nail polish to make biting less tempting. Also, there is something about a fresh manicure that we don’t want to ruin, am I right? 

But somehow, with certain colors—like bluish-gray or a nude tone—my sore skin from skin picking was more visible than usual. 

Then one day, I stumbled across a Brad Modo video about finding the right hair color for your skin tone. The essence of the video is:

If you have a warm skin tone, stick with warm colors; if you have a cool skin tone, stick with the cool. 

So, if you struggle with dermatillomania like me, your fingers are probably a little red and sometimes even bleeding. Therefore, nail polishes with warm tones are a better choice.

This rule of thumb applies to styling in general, but I never thought about this as I’m not very adventurous with colors in my wardrobe!

How to find out if your skin tone is warm or cool

There are a few tricks to figuring out if you have a warm or cool skin tone. To conduct the tests, look at your skin under natural light, as artificial light can change the appearance of your skin tone.

Vein Test

What color are your veins?

Blue or purple = cool skin
Green or olive = warm skin
Blue or green = neutral skin

Jewelry Test

Does gold or silver jewelry look better on you? 

Gold jewelry = warm
Silver jewelry = cool skin
Both colors look great on you = neutral skin 

Sun Test

Do you tan easily?

Do you tan easily, no redness, golden color = warm 
Do you burn easily and turn red = cool

Eye Color Test

What color are your eyes?

Blue/grey/green/deep brown = cool
Brown/hazel/honey = warm
A mixture of colors = neutral

Paper Test

Hold a white paper next to your face and look in the mirror.

Does your face look:
Yellow = warm
Pink/rosy/bluish-red = cool
Both = neutral 

I hope you find this little excursion into color theory helpful! Maybe a good nail polish color distracts from not only nail-biting but also visually covers up the damage caused by skin picking—until you get a better handle on your dermatillomania 😉

Extra tip for nail-biting and skin picking:

Keep your nails trimmed short. Having less nail provides less to bite and is less tempting. Some swear by acrylic nails, and others find bitter-tasting no-bite nail polish helpful. Do mini manicures at least once a day. Scan your fingers for hangnails and trim them with a tool–don’t rip them off! 

Categories
BFRB Tips

How to Find BFRB Fidget Toys That Suit Your Sensory Needs

An illustration with various fidget toys

When I found out about BFRBs, I quickly stumbled upon fidget toys. BFRB Fidget toys are tactile toys that can be stretched, squeezed, moved, or stroked. They come in various textures and are usually small enough to be carried around in the hands or pocket. 

BFRB fidget toys keep hands and jaw busy and distract them from picking, biting, or pulling. Using fidget toys also helps to reduce stress and anxiety.

Fidget toys used to manage BFRBs are somewhat controversial because some say it replaces the behavior but doesn’t solve the problem. That may be true, but I find it a healthier alternative to protect my skin and fingernails.

Speaking of problem-solving – at this point, it may be important to mention that recovery from BFRBs mainly involves mental work and healing. Find ways to better deal with your frustration, dissatisfaction, stress, or anxiety. Find out what the source of your triggers is. Try therapy, keep a journal, or find other ways to connect with your inner self. 

In the meantime, if fidget toys are helping you on your healing journey, I encourage you to use them. I’m thankful for BFRB fidget toys, and who knows, maybe one day I won’t need them anymore.

Find out what sensations you are responding to

When I first researched fidget toys on the internet, I was overwhelmed by the vast amount of different toys out there.

I began looking more closely at my body-focused repetitive behaviors to determine what sensations I crave and the relief I get from skin, nail, and cheek biting.

For example, I react to:

Sight: I love popping pimples or any kind of clogged pores. Seeing the pus come out is so rewarding and soothing. Sorry for the graphic description, but you know what I am talking about. 

Sound: I like the clicking sound when I bite my nails or cheeks 

Touch: My restless fingers love to explore rough skin or fingernails. As if they were on patrol and their mission is to smooth everything, even the oh-so-tiny hangnail.

Sensory input is different for everyone. Ask yourself: What are some of the comforting feelings you experience when you engage in a BFRB? Do you respond to touch, sight, sound, or smell?

With this information, it will be easier to find a BFRB replacement in the form of a fidget toy or something similar.

Get inspired by household items or nature.

In the beginning, I didn’t want to spend any money and recourses on plastic BFRB fidget toys that I wasn’t sure I would even like. 

So, I started trying different items at home and in nature to see how my senses respond. I quickly found some helpful things. I still use some of these and have replaced others with actual fidget toys.

Here are some examples:

Fidget ring: from ball chains to fidget jewelry

From a purchase, I had this metal chain for merchandising tags. I removed a few links from the small chain to wrap them around my finger. My fingers responded very well to the tiny metal balls. I later replaced this with a ring I made out of beads. And that, in turn, I replaced with a beautiful silver fidget ring by Levitayt. 

Tip: Search for anxiety ring, wellness jewelry, or fidget ring. 

Tip: Rubber bands or hair ties are great alternatives for the metal chain. I wrap the rubber band around my left index finger. That can keep my thumb busy for a while too.

Chopstick: to distract teeth and tongue

I cut a piece off a chopstick (you can also try popsicle sticks). I held it between my teeth or in my cheek to create a barrier against biting my cheeks and lips. That coping method already helped a bit, but I wanted something to chew on to get the energy out of my jaw. I was very fortunate to later find a sensory chew toy that had the same small shape as the chopstick – for some reason, most chew toys are pretty big.

Tip: You can also search for “chewelery,” ­–  sensory chew necklaces or bracelets!

Soap bag: for the ultimate soothing feeling

I bought a small soap bag made from coarse flax fabric with loops for scrubbing. I loved the feeling of stroking it so much I put it in my BFRB toolbox instead of the shower 😉 

Tip: The texture of terry cloth is also great. I’ve been a big fan since I was a kid.

Nature: find your fidget toy in the park, by the river, or in the woods!

Nature has so many wonderful textures to offer. Watch out for rough twigs, small pinecones, or smooth stones on your next walk. You don’t have to spend money on worry stones (usually smooth) that you get in the store. Just find one yourself! You might even like a rough stone better than a smooth one.

These are just a few examples of things I found at home and found helpful for my BFRBs. You don’t have to spend money on “fancy” fidget toys. 

Check out what you already have at home, go outside, or maybe go to a craft store. There is no limit to your creativity to find something to occupy your fingers or create a barrier. Please let me know if you find anything cool!

I like the sound of stroking the pine cone and the texture of the seashell.

Where to buy BFRB fidget toys

If you want to buy a fidget toy but don’t know which one yet, I recommend watching videos about fidget toys on YouTube. You’ll get a better idea by seeing how people are using them.

Also, check out @pickingme on Instagram, who posts new fidget toys every week!

Book or toy stores sometimes also carry sensory products. Or maybe there’s even a mental health store in your town. I like going to the shops because you can often test the toys, which is helpful to find something suitable.

Of course, buying fidget toys online is always an option. Check out Therapy Shoppe or good old Amazon.

Extra Tip:

Try out new fidget toys or items and switch between them from time to time. Otherwise, they lose their “magic” and become boring. Similar to kids and dogs – after a while, they need new toys and input too 😉

Categories
BFRB Tips

How to Heal Skin Picking Wounds

Illustration of two bandages with "let it heal" written on one

When it comes to dealing with dermatillomania, trichotillomania, and other body-focused repetitive behaviors, we know that healing starts from within. However, in this post I’d like to talk about how to heal the wounds we cause with skin picking.

We know that it usually starts with a need to rid the skin of impurities and pimples, but often the skin looks much worse afterwards.

I know I’m guilty of picking the same spots over and over again, and the urge to remove scabs can be strong. It can make wound healing take weeks or months, and repeated scab removal can even leave long-term scarring.

So what’s the point in “fixing” the skin in the first place!?

I’d like to share what I am doing to break the what I’m doing to break the cycle of healing-picking.

First, some insight into the healing process of skin 

Wounds seem to take forever to heal. We feel ashamed and hopeless, especially when visible on the face, arms, or legs.

The healing process of the skin can take anywhere from several days to several weeks, depending on the size and severity of the wound. During this time, it is important to keep the wound clean and covered to avoid infection and promote healing.

After about three months, most wounds are fully repaired (no wonder, it seems forever!) and the skin is almost as strong as before the trauma. But it obviously depends on how big or deep the wound is.

Let’s try to be mindful the next time we feel the urge to pick. Let’s give our skin some TLC and show it some love. No digging, please! A gentle push will do—we don’t need tweezers or needles. Doing this will give our skin the patience it needs to heal and our future self will thank us for it!

It’s understandable that you want to get rid of blemishes quickly, but it’s really important to leave them be and let them heal naturally—I know it’s easier said than done. But it’ll be better for us in the long run. If we keep picking at scabs, it’ll take longer for them to heal.

A guide to enhancing skin picking wound healing

Here are some products I use to help heal wounds I caused from picking my skin and to stop me from scratching at my scabs.

  • Bandages are a great way to keep your wounds of all sizes clean and moist so that they can heal better. Maybe apply some healing ointment first. Plus, you won’t have to worry about anyone seeing your damaged skin, which can help you resist the urge to pick!
  • Hydrocolloid bandages are my absolute favorites! They’re waterproof and can stay in place over a wound for several days, protecting it and helping it heal without forming scabs. A white bubble will form to show that the healing process has started. I’m being careful to use these costlier patches wisely by only cutting small rounds as needed. You can also use a hole puncher to create custom circular healing patches.
  • Pimple patches provide a gentle reminder to leave pimples alone and allow them to heal naturally. By providing a physical barrier between the skin and the fingers, pimple patches allow the skin to heal without the risk of further damage from skin picking. The hydrocolloid material helps to absorb excess oil and fluids from the blemish, so it can heal faster and more effectively. Additionally, the patches help to reduce inflammation, redness, and pain.
  • Healing ointment: For smaller wounds, I apply antibiotic ointment to prevent infection and keep the skin moist. I also apply the cream to the discolored skin long after the wound has healed. I’ve implemented this method instead of picking my skin— it’s a healthier approach that helps it heal.
  • Wound Spray: I regularly use wound (antiseptic) spray to kill the germs and help prevent infections—especially before I apply any bandage or healing ointment. Cleansing the wound from dirt and bacteria is an essential first step to enable the healing of a skin-picking wound.
  • Healing clay/earth masks can be a great aid in treating acne and small skin-picking wounds. Thanks to its ability to draw out impurities and reduce inflammation, these masks are able to balance the pH levels of the skin to promote natural healing. On top of this, I find that using the mask is a calming and self-care-inducing ritual. The cooling sensation and earthy smell are especially enjoyable! I personally use Luvos Heilerde (healing earth), a popular German brand.
  • Healthy nutrients: Maintaining healthy vitamin levels can also improve the wound healing process. Very popular for skincare are vitamin A (kale, pumpkin, egg) to fight wound infections and vitamin E (nuts such as almonds and peanuts, vegetable oils) to stimulate new skin cells to grow in the damaged area and thus prevent scarring. Zinc helps the immune system, has anti-inflammatory properties, and is beneficial for acne and related scars. Sometimes I take supplements of the above nutrients because why not. 

What steps do you take to help your skin picking wounds heal?

I hope these tips can be helpful in aiding you on your journey to healing your skin picking wounds!

– Anja

PS: If you’ve just had a setback and are disheartened by the damage you’ve done because of your BFRB, maybe this post will help you get a fresh perspective.

My wound-healing tools
Hydrocolloid bandages doing their healing magic