I first learned about Adi Mudra in the book “Heal Your BFRB.” (great book, by the way!) Let me tell you all about it and why it helps to cope with BFRBs.
Adi Mudra is a hand gesture that is often used in spiritual yoga and meditation. It means “first gesture” (Adi = primal, Mudra = gesture) because it is the first position a baby can make with their hands.
Fold your thumb and gently hold it with your remaining fingers. That’s it. Easy right!
Adi Mudra calms your nervous system, helps raise awareness, and increases breathing and lung capacity.
For this reason, it can be a good idea to keep your hands like this while doing your breathing exercises to help manage anxiety and stress.
I use Adi Mudra a lot to control my restless fingers. It became my go-to action when I catch my fingers wandering around feeling every so little bump or cuticle.
This hand gesture breaks my urge and protects my fingers from picking, biting, or pulling while I can refocus on my mission of not engaging in my BFRBs.
I love this little BFRB trick, especially in social situations. You can use it casually without anyone noticing. Somehow, holding my thumb(s) with the rest of my fingers soothes me and makes me feel safe and in control.
Try it out, and let me know what you think of this BFRB tip!
The BFRB thumb guard was the first fidget tool I bought to better cope with skin picking – especially at my fingers. The thumb guard is also a good helper for trichotillomania.
I noticed that when I’m not using my hands, my fingers are busy wandering around creating new skin to pick. Before I even know it, I tore off a cuticle or did more damage by “fixing” the tiniest bumps on my arms.
The thumbs are the main troublemakers. They can touch each finger, the middle finger and pointer tend to dig into the thumb, and we all know how bad the index finger+thumb combination can be for blemishes and hair.
Feeling leads to picking, pulling and biting.
So, it seemed like a good solution to put my main problem finger out of action by wearing a BFRB thumb guard. And it is was! I got mine from ThumbSnuggler.
What I love about the ThumbSnuggler BFRB thumb guard:
I love that it’s handmade and that glass beads are knitted into the thumb guard. I knew my nervous fingers would respond very well to the beads.
The thumb guard can be put on very quickly, creating an immediate barrier
My thumb is unable to act, so I can’t feel any hangnails or rough edges. And I can’t use my thumb and index finger to pick blemishes
The beats are great sensory fidgets that keep my fingers busy
I keep the BFRB thumb guard in my living room-BFRB toolkit and use it mainly when watching TV, reading, or drawing. Working on the keyboard probably works great too.
Do you track your BFRB habits? Tracking them is key for getting them under control and, hopefully, even curing your dermatillomania, trichotillomania, nail or cheek biting over time.
How many times have you picked, pulled, or scratched without even realizing it? How many times have you yelled at yourself to stop but couldn’t?
I think we all have been there. We pick our skin or pull our hair because this is our coping mechanism for trauma, stressful times, anxiety-induced situations, procrastination, or boredom.
BFRBs are ingrained habits that often happen automatically. The most important thing is to cultivate awareness of the patterns and disrupt them before responding to the triggers. Because, as you maybe know, once you give in to the urge, the downward spiral is pretty much unavoidable.
How to track your BFRB habits
By tracking your BFRB habits, you will become aware of when, where, and even why you pick your skin, bite your nails or pull your hair. You will better understand your triggers and feelings that call for relief through your BFRBs.
So every time you’ve had a relapse, make a note of the following:
Date & Time
Place: e.g., bathroom, car, work desk, doctors waiting room
Situation: e.g., while grooming, in a meeting, in front of the mirror, studying, working, driving, reading, watching TV, …
Thoughts & Feelings: What did you think and feel while you “zoned out.” What was the sensation you got from picking or pulling?
By tracking my body-focused repetitive behaviors, I was able to eliminate some “lighter triggers,” such as when watching TV, reading, or talking on the phone.
Seeing the positives of BFRB relapses by tracking them
I know, I know. How on earth can BFRB relapses be positive, right? I used to feel so angry, defeated, and hopeless after an episode of picking or biting. Sometimes I still am when I see the damage I’ve done.
However, ever since I’m tracking my BFRB habits, I see setbacks as an opportunity to optimize my coping strategy.
Also, the more I am aware of my body-focused repetitive behaviors, the more I become aware of the triggers. And knowing the triggers is quite empowering because I learn a lot about myself.
It might sound weird, but I feel like my nervous system is talking to me through my BFRBs? As if the scars, fresh wounds, or flaky fingers were to alert me to take better care of myself and my mental health. But that’s the topic for another post 💛
Give it a try and track your BFRB habits. I hope it gives you some insights!
This is a screenshot of the SkinPick App that I use to track my BFRB habits.
Some of my favorite skin picking barriers are wearing finger protectors or taping the fingers. Unfortunately, those interventions sometimes are just not enough of a barrier. At times like these, I wear cotton gloves.
Wearing the gloves is very effective because you just can’t pick your skin, bite your nails or even pull your hair while wearing them. Another advantage is that I don’t see my fingers if they are in a rough shape from picking my fingers.
The cotton glove method works best when reading, watching TV, or even working at the computer – yes, typing on the keyboard works surprisingly well too! Most of the time I only wear one glove. That way, I have a free hand without restrictions to use the computer mouse … or to snack 😉
The cotton gloves should fit snugly around your hand, otherwise they may distract or get in the way. To make the gloves tighter, I tie a knot at the bottom. See the picture below.
You can get cotton gloves in different sizes at a conventional drug store for pretty cheap.
If you buy cotton gloves, but they are unusable for your BFRBs, you can always use them to moisten your hands. Just apply a lotion or hand repair cream and wear the gloves for a few hours or overnight. Check out these tips for super soft hands.
Or do both – healing your BFRB ridden skin while creating a barrier for skin picking, nail-biting, and hair-pulling!
Make the cotton gloves tighter by tying a knot at the bottom.
When I discovered that skin picking, nail-biting, and cheek biting fall under the same umbrella called Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, I was surprised but also kinda relieved.
Suddenly I had the feeling that I only had to fight one battle instead of three different ones.
This self-help book teaches how to improve BFRBs in three steps:
Building awareness and recognizing patterns: Become aware of when and where your body-focused repetitive behaviors occur. What are the triggers – locations, experiences, feelings, things that cause your behaviors.
Planning and preparation: Find out what tips and tricks can help you with your BFRBs. Have a strategy when faced with triggers.
Putting the plan in action: Use your custom plan and tricks to prevent the BFRB from happening.
An example of me using the three steps to prevent picking the fingers and nail-biting:
Trigger: writing copy on my computer in a sitting position.
Writing copy is super stressful for me. I get nervous, impatient, and distorted thoughts and self-doubt work against me. Plus, I overthink everything. You’re probably wondering why on earth am I writing this blog then. Yes, this BFRB Coping project is a massive challenge for me. But if I gave in to my anxiety, I wouldn’t achieve anything in my life.
Now back to the implementation of the book’s guideline for nail-biting and picking my fingers:
I’m aware that writing copy is nerve-wracking for me. My fingers keep moving over each other, checking for something to scratch and pick.
I plan to use different tricks to prevent picking my fingers and biting my nails. I switch between BFRB tricks, but the most effective so far have been taping my finger, using the finger protector and the DIY fidget ring.
On my desk, I have a box of all kinds of BFRB tools that are always ready to use. I’ll put the plan into action as soon as I sit down at my computer. If I plan to write copy or answer emails, I put on my BFRB gear beforehand – see picture below.
Examples of BFRB trigger situations
BFRBs are the result of stress, anxiety, or even boredom. Other trigger situations can be:
Looking in the mirror, especially in the bathroom
Watching TV
Driving or getting stuck in traffic
Thinking of a problem
Talking on the phone
Reading a book
Making decisions
Stress at work, at school
Sometimes it’s not even possible to pinpoint a situation…
What are your trigger situations and locations? Observe yourself and write down when, where and how your BFRBs take place. You might be surprised some of these were not known because your BFRBs are so automated.
The BFRB self-help book “Overcoming Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors” has much more detailed examples and better explanations. I can’t do the book justice with this post.
I recommend reading this BFRB self-help book and trying the recommended three steps to a better life with BFRBs: awareness – planning – implementation.
