Category: BFRB Tips

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BFRB Tips

Breathing Exercises to Calm Your BFRBs

Lettering saying: Take a deep breath

We rarely pay attention to how we breathe because it happens automatically without much thought. However, making breathing exercises conscious and integrating them into our everyday lives has many advantages. 

Deep breaths can help resist the BFRB urge until this feeling passes. It’s like a little mental reset to calm down and regain focus.

I pick and bite the most when I’m anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, or worried. When I feel this way, my breath becomes shallow, and I even subconsciously hold my breath or breathe irregularly. Not breathing properly intensifies my negative feelings and thus my BFRBs. 

If I catch myself biting or picking nervously – if possible – I remove myself from the situation and sit with my back straight or even lie down. I set the timer for five minutes and do a breathing exercise. 

After two or three minutes, I feel how my racing mind relaxes. I then have a clear head to see why and what made me so anxious. Then I can focus on the next steps. 

It doesn’t always have to be five minutes. Taking a few deep breaths while feeling tense could go a long way already. It’s a quick check-in with your thoughts and feelings. It helps to understand you and your BFRBs better. 

The next time you’re feeling anxious or stressed, try one of these breathing exercises:

Box breathing: A very simple breathing exercise is box breathing. I like to imagine circling a square while doing this exercise.

  1. Inhale for a count of four
  2. Hold your breath for a count of four
  3. Exhale for a count of four
  4. Hold your breath for four
  5. Continue the pattern

4-7-8 Breathing: The 4-7-8 breathing exercise is also called the relaxing breath because it helps to calm down the nervous system. While doing this exercise I focus on counting and my body instead of my thoughts.

  1. Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
  2. Hold your breath for a count of seven.
  3. Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.
  4. Repeat the pattern

Affirmation breathing: This is one of my favorite breathing exercises when my mind is racing with negative self-talk. 

  1. Inhale and say a mental positive thought or focus word
  2. Exhale a mental negative thought or focus word
  3. Repeat the pattern. For example, inhale “I am capable”, exhale self-doubt or inhale “calmness”, exhale “stress”

Sometimes it can be difficult to follow through with breathing exercises on your own. If you need some guidance, try using a breathing or meditation app. Click here to see a list of breathing or meditation apps.

Extra Tip:

Put one hand on your heart and the other one on your belly. Feel your chest and stomach expand when you take a deep breath. That way you can divert the focus from the thoughts to the body. Alternatively, hold your hand in the “Adi Mudra” position to keep your hands still.

Happy calm breathing, Anja

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BFRB Tips

Use Finger Protectors to Stop Picking Hangnails and Start Healing

Illustration of hand wearing BFRB finger protectors

A dear friend of mine showed me this great trick of using finger protectors to avoid picking the skin on the fingers. 

The finger protector is a stretchable tube coated with a mineral gel that contains vitamin E and aloe. 

The product’s original purpose is to cushion and protect blisters, corns, or ingrown nails on the toes. Let’s give this product a new purpose to combat dermatillomania on toes and fingers!

I really like this trick because it has three uses at the same time:

  1. The finger protectors form a barrier not to pick my skin.
  2. Simultaneously, the gel moisturizes the nail bed and helps the skin heal better!
  3. The gel softens my skin – this is great, because of my extensive skin picking on my fingers, the new skin always feels a little harder. This drives me crazy because it makes picking even more appealing. 

How to use the finger protectors:

Cut the gel tube into ca. 1 cm (0.4 inches) rings/slices. Now you have not just one finger protector but four or even five!

Slide the finger protectors over your nail beds. The fingertips will be exposed, and since the finger protectors are pretty slim, they won’t restrict the movement of my fingers.

I mainly use these finger guards when I’m working on the computer or when I’m drawing.

Some facts about the finger protector:

  • The gel softens and moisturizes the skin. 
  • The finger protector is not only a barrier to not pick your skin, but it helps it heal as well!
  • The gel contains vitamin E and aloe. Again … healing …
  • The finger protector is washable and reusable.
  • Do not place this product on open wounds!
  • Remove after maybe 1–2 hours to allow the skin to breathe. Try it out yourself!
  • Read the product information on the packaging. Just in case 😉

Check out this similar BFRB trick to create a barrier for dermatillomania: finger taping.

Photo of wearing the BFRB finger protector on the index finger
Photo of the finger protector product
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BFRB Tips

Sensory DIY Fidget Ring to Keep Your Fingers Busy

Illustration of a hand playing with a DIY fidget ring

Ever since I’ve been on my BFRB healing journey, I’m always looking for something to help me with my urges. When I discovered this simple fidget ring trick, I couldn’t wait to share it with you. 🙂

I recently bought something that had this little metal chain for merchandising tags attached to it. I was immediately fascinated by the texture of the small metal balls.

To turn this little chain into a fidget ring, I removed a few links so the chain would wrap nicely around my fingers. I was super happy when I discovered that my restless fingers responded very well to this sensory substitute.

My fingers are always busy moving over each other or my face, looking/feeling for something bumpy or rough. Then I pick hangnails and scratch blemishes until they bleed. 

This impulsive habit often occurs out of my consciousness when doing desk work or simply reading a book in a comfortable position. My fingers are the most affected as I have had this behavior since I was eight years old.

Now I keep this little chain, also known as a fidget ring, near my keyboard. It might not be the most fashionable accessory, but it does its job and is super accessible, and doesn’t cost anything. 

So don’t throw these little chains away the next time you come across them. Transform them into super cheap fidget rings. Maybe you like the feeling of the metal balls as much as I do!

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BFRB Tips

Dim the Lights to Not See Blemishes

Illustration of bathroom lights. Three of four lights are turned of.

Probably the most common BFRB crime scene is the bathroom with brightly lit mirrors.

I tend to scrutinize my face closely under the bright light for hours. I see things that other people wouldn’t even notice.  

A simple trick to reduce visual triggers is to dim the lights. I unscrewed three out of four lightbulbs in my bathroom. I still see enough for my bathroom activities as most don’t even require bright lights. 

If dimming the lights in your bathroom isn’t an option, maybe consider getting a night lamp. Some of them have dimmers or even different color options. 

I still remember going to that one bar as a teenager where the bathroom lights were red and dimmed. My skin there never looked more flawless. All I can say is that my confidence was quite high after these bathroom visits 😉

Alternatively, you may be able to remove the mirror entirely. And while we’re at it, be sure to remove any magnifying mirrors for your own good.

This is just an example of a night lamp I once bought on Amazon. The company is called VAVA.

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BFRB Tips

Use Cuticle Oil to Moisturize and Heal Your Nail Bed

Illustration of applying cuticle oil to fingers

I don’t know how I could have lived without cuticle oil for so long! For most of my fellow BFRB copers, using cuticle oil is probably a no-brainer. But I indeed have never used it in those over 20 years of picking my fingers.

My restless fingers are constantly looking for or creating hangnails. Thanks to various coping techniques (finger taping, finger protectors, fidget ring, therapy, …) I have my finger picking pretty well under control. 

The new problem, however, is that the new skin feels more rigid, which makes picking even more appealing and harder to control.

So I’m trying to counter that by using A LOT of cuticle oil and lotion. The oil moisturizes and smoothes the skin, so I don’t see any hangnails or imperfections. The smell of the oil also reminds me not to bite my nails when I get my hand near my mouth.

Over time, I’ve developed a healthy habit that creates awareness not to pick. As soon as I’m at my work desk, I apply cuticle oil to the nail beds. 

This has an effect on me, similar to putting shoes on a dog. I spread my fingers apart to make sure they aren’t touching and not greasing the keyboard. For a while, at least, my fingers don’t wander around picking each other. 

In summary, the cuticle oil not only softens and heals your skin, it also creates a slight barrier against picking your hangnails.

Tip: When I need heavier BFRB work gear or the extra healing boost, I apply cuticle oil before taping my fingers or putting on the finger protectors. This is how I protect my fingers and moisten them at the same time.